The Nordic people are noted for being a bit frosty.Ā Especially by their southern neighbours.Ā They are my people.Ā Apparently in high school I intimidated people.Ā It wasn’t intentional.Ā I just didn’t have much sense of play.Ā So I am grateful to my country’s celebrated multiculturalism that I met people from other ethnic backgrounds who taught me how to lighten up šĀ For any of you reading this regularly, you will already know my love for the Dutch who somehow seem to manage to combine warmth, efficiency and dry wit.Ā And, while I still love Paris and New York, I have the most fun in Amsterdam so it may have beat them out as my favourite city.
But today we are talking about the Swedes.Ā Since my grandfather died when my dad was ten, the first Swedish man I met was some random Bjƶrn or Mattias.Ā He was cute and blond, sure, but that is not why he was memorable.Ā At the time I was about 20 and back in those days, people didn’t talk about sex in public in North America.Ā They didn’t have ads for tampons on TV.Ā We were repressed and uptight about all that stuff.Ā And lots of young women were very conservative in their social mores.
But we were also brought up well so people could say whatever and we just smiled politely and didn’t express any shock outwardly.Ā Hey, we started as a British colony šĀ So I was chatting with random Swedish guy and another girl in the lounge at the university residence where we were staying during our summer jobs.Ā And random Swedish guy casually mentioned how his grandmother had been cool with him bringing his girlfriend to her house and having sleepovers with the girlfriend when he was 15.Ā And not just sleeping š
(According to my guidebook, at 15 you become byxmyndig, loosely translated as “in charge of your pants” – the things you learn from travel :))
Random Swedish guy seemed very comfortable with the concept of sex.Ā Apparently in Sweden it wasn’t the big deal it was in North America (and in many quarters, still is).Ā It was likely the first time I heard anyone talk about sex without twittering.Ā Talking about it as though it was the same as talking about the weather.Ā It was definitely a revelation.Ā And obviously random Swedish guy had an impact on my perceptions of the world.
But what I remember most was talking to the other girl later when random Swedish guy wasn’t around.Ā She had been shocked!Ā I hadn’t even realized because we had been taught to not act shocked so you would never know from the way the person acted in the situation.Ā I believe that’s called “good manners.”Ā It was fun to giggle about it since we didn’t have to act cool in front of the Swedish dude right then.Ā But I was less shocked.Ā And thought the Swedes might be on to something.Ā WHY WERE North Americans SO uptight about sex – but so casual about violence…
I met a couple more Swedish guys over the years.Ā That was part of the reason for my trip to Stockholm.Ā To see if they were representative.Ā My conclusion…Ā I think so…Ā It was only a short visit so not exactly a scientific study…
I went to at least one historical or cultural spot every day to learn more about the Swedes.Ā I had only had a few minutes to leaf through my guidebook before I arrived but I had read enough to be intrigued.Ā Another reason for the choice of Stockholm was a conversation I had recently at a networking event with a banker who had worked in Stockholm for a number of years.Ā He was the one that alerted me to the impressive nature of Sweden.
And it is an impressive place.Ā It’s clean.Ā It’s green.Ā It’s pretty equal by world standards.Ā There is a strong social safety net.Ā There is very little crime.Ā People are articulate.Ā For a small country, they really make their mark on the world via business, sport, design…
There are flags everywhere.Ā And people seem to have a strong sense of identity.Ā As a Canadian, I was fascinated.Ā We are famous – at least within our own borders – for being on an eternal quest for our sense of identity.Ā Something a little more than, “we are not Americans.” š
My father was one of the few Canadians I’ve known who really believed in the country and had the kind of patriotic attitude I saw in Sweden.Ā Could it have come from his Swedish father?
Now that I know a little Swedish history, I would think likely not.Ā But maybe…Ā There is no question the Swedes have an identity.Ā But the museums and my conversations with Swedes suggested that it is a fairly new thing.
And – like everything in history, especially in Europe – it’s complicated.Ā Apparently Sweden was pretty poor and agrarian until the Second World War.Ā Most Swedes didn’t seem to want to acknowledge the role Germany – and their “neutral” position during the war – played in their prosperity.Ā But without the Nazis, there might not have been IKEA…
I was more interested in the sociology of Sweden than in ancient politics.Ā What was fascinating is that there were some famous Swedes who decided they needed a national identity and strove to define and promote it.Ā Part of this was establishing the Nordiska Museet – a place to showcase Swedish culture and identity.Ā For tourists.Ā But, more interestingly, for locals.
Apparently part of its mandate was to provide people with information about what it meant to be Swedish – to build a national identity.Ā Because, as I learned in the fabulous 1,000 years of Swedish history in under an hour at the Historiska Museet, the Sweden of today is a really recent invention.Ā There were the Vikings, some evil (and more benevolent) kings, a pampered nobility, alliances with the other Nordic countries (why Nordiska, not Swedish), invasions and bloody fights with neighboring countries, an interesting positioning during the Second World War…
What I loved the most about the Swedish museums is that they didn’t just toss random facts at you.Ā They clearly stated that culture and history are complicated and perspective is key.Ā They actually asked questions in the exhibits and encouraged you to think about any “facts” presented.
That was the thing that I liked the most about Sweden.Ā The culture encouraged thinking and planning (very Nordic of them ;).Ā Once the dust settled and prosperity kicked in, they decided to define who they were – and wanted to be.Ā And communicate that message to the nation.Ā I think all the recent immigration has made that message more complicated to reconcile but what impressed me the most about my visit to Sweden was the sense that intelligent thought and debate was encouraged – and part of the national identity.
I think that’s why Sweden has likely been so successful in the complicated modern world.Ā So, save your pennies and go check it out.Ā And chat up some Swedes.Ā They like to talk about ice hockey.Ā Vikings.Ā Or sex š
the grand hotel doesn’t seem so expensive…
a little blast from the past šĀ As will become obvious, I mostly wrote this in the moment, my final night in Stockholm⦠the memories still resonate fondly š
I just walked through four different Stockholm neighborhoods and it is my last night so I am rewarding myself with a drink at the bar as the Nordic light fades and the twinkling artificial lights appear on the harbour.Ā This is a stunning city and the view is worth the price of the drink.
The crazy part is that the city is so expensive, the drink in the Grand Hotel costs about the same as less grand places.Ā When you see someone use a VISA card to pay for a Sprite, you know you are in another world š
Tomorrow I leave for a final day in London and then onward to my real home.Ā Stockholm is the perfect place to not feel homesick.
It does seem colder here.Ā And I have had to channel my prairie roots and just huddle into my lightweight fleece because I am way too cheap to buy a new jacket š Ā As I agreed with the girls at reception on the first day, you don’t survive long in the north if you aren’t tough.Ā As a teenager on the prairie, you are always trying to not get frostbite when you are underdressed and it’s 40 below because it’s just not cool to dress properly.Ā So a Swedish autumn is a piece of cake… š
I did buy a pashmina shawl in London at a good price – and I brought gloves along after freezing in Berlin in April but I haven’t had the good sense to bring either along with me on this afternoon’s excursion.Ā Today there was a big clock announcing it was 11 degrees.Ā I wish I was wearing more but I’m not getting frostbite so it’s not really cold š
Stockholm does have moody weather, lots of water and clean streets.Ā The architecture really puts Vancouver to shame but there are more similarities than differences.
It is a little too “white” for me.Ā Seeing too many white people in a city always feels a bit strange – especially after multicultural London.Ā But the good news is that there are some non-white people here and they seem very integrated into the fabric of the country.Ā Now that I know some Swedish history, I know that immigration is a fairly new concept here.Ā It’s only been in the last fifty or sixty years people weren’t trying to get the hell OUT of Sweden.
So it is mostly full of Viking offspring.Ā But ā contrary to popular belief ā the blond, blue-eyed Swede is not very common.Ā Itās too cold for Latinos so most people have a similar look but itās a much broader palette than one might expect.Ā The main thing the Swedes share ā and I inherited ā are the non-brown eyes.
I had an interesting conversation with some Swedish guys about āthe Swedish look.āĀ They both looked different ā but obviously northern Europe.Ā Two sets of green eyes.Ā One set of blue.Ā As we noted, a recessive gene.Ā Iāve already expressed my thoughts on the virtues of a mocha world.Ā It would be great for racism.Ā But the world is so full of interesting facial features.Ā I hope a few pale coloured eyes will survive.Ā Maybe they will have to be accompanied by pale skin.Ā But itās the attitude that matters.
And Sweden has a lot to teach us about asking questions and playing a role in creating a society you want to live in.Ā An inclusive place where pretty blue eyes, pretty brown eyes or even obscure green eyes, male or female, you are considered an equal and interesting member of society.Ā Thatās the kind of world I aspire to live in⦠this blog will continue to promote it until it is actually reality š
p.s. I ended my visit with an amazing cake and hot chocolate at the Sundbergs Konditori in Gamla Stan.Ā Itās been in business since 1785 but obviously still going strongā¦
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shining examples, social commentary, travel stories
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