the stormy seas of independence…
By pure random chance, I happened to be in Croatia a few days before the Scots voted on independence. You cannot, of course, time your vacation to Croatia to coincide with such an interesting time to be in a Balkan state. There is no question the Balkans are a fascinating place – historically, culturally and geographically. A visit is really rewarding.
It’s rare for me to see a random post on facebook that I really feel is worth sharing but I am going to link to this one as it is a witty representation of much I have observed of world politics. Not all countries are represented and there is no Croatia imagery. But the Canadian quote sums us up rather succinctly. I am a huge fan of history and know far more about the facts and dynamics of my own country than most politicians, less alone most voters.
http://www.tickld.com/x/capitalism-explained-this-is-so-accurate-it-hurts
I understand the seduction of independence, flag waving and nation states. But we would all be better served in the 21st century to be getting together and trying not to let the planet turn into Mad Max…
elaphite islands
Anyway, to the travel experience! One of the most unique aspects of Croatia is the abundance of islands to explore. Many are tiny. Some are not even inhabited. It is a playground of fantasy for sailors. I like boats but my sailing qualifications more or less end at a pretty good ability to tie knots thanks to my early years as a Brownie 😉
So, I thought I would sign up with Amico for a cruise of the Elaphite Islands. It started pretty slow as apparently the ship is filled by numerous travel agencies so you start to wonder if you are going to leave the harbour…
http://www.roughguides.com/destinations/europe/croatia/dubrovnik-around/elaphite-islands/
They do ply you with homemade brandy before lunch… perhaps so you won’t realize nothing is happening? 😉 But eventually the trip gets underway and you bounce over the waves and reflect on the clear blue skies.
And – hopefully for you – that will continue for the remainder of the day. Our cruise was a little different… at first the rain was benign and easy to ignore but it wasn’t long before the skies opened up and people had water running down their faces. Being from a city where rain is a daily possibility, I was prepared. I just put on my fleece and positioned myself under my travel umbrella. Girl scouts are prepared 🙂
I was impressed by some young guy trying to frantically unfurl the canvas coverings that were meant to protect the ship in bad weather. I think that should have been the job of the crew but customer service is still being developed in eastern Europe 😉
Apparently the gods did not totally hate us and we had a brief interval of sunshine when we reached our first island, Lopud. The beach was deserted, the outdoor bar opposite the dock was closed and the monastery was under renovation so it’s obvious that, like most people from lovely climates, the Croatians are kind of wimps 🙂
I decided I would be adventurous and follow the signs to the mysterious art installation up the hill. It was a great choice. I saw a lot of the island, especially the flora, and the art installation offered a disrupting perspective that is what art is supposed to do!
It was called “Black Horizon”. The customer service was eastern European style so had no idea what I was doing… but it looked like you went behind the curtain… it was totally black. It was a former communist country so wasn’t sure about safety standards so crawled around the edge of the room so that I didn’t break my ankle or plunge into an unseen pit. After a few minutes, the room did not seem absolutely pitch black and I could see a tiny strip of white light where there was a tiny break in the wall – the horizon!
experiencing art
I’m not sure the artist’s intentions but it was a really interesting visual and emotional experience, especially for someone living in a very safe western country where being thrust unexpectedly into a blackened room is unlikely to be an everyday event.
By the time I got back to the boat for lunch, the rain clouds were threatening again. But it ended up being serendipity. No one wanted to chance eating lunch on the roof of the boat so we took turns squeezing into the tables on the main deck, which resulted in random and unexpected pairings. Most of my lunch time was spent with the guy who had battened down the hatches in the boat and his best friend.
It was pretty obvious as soon as they spoke that they were from Scotland. Ryan’s dad was a fisherman so that was why he knew what to do on a boat when rain came calling (he is Scottish :)). His friend Peter was more the suave ladies’ man. Ryan was especially patriotic and very keen on the independence vote. He had also worked in Norway so we became friends with a Norwegian guy since I had been to Norway only a couple of months ago.
My new friends convinced me I should just hang out at a pub with them for the next two islands. On a sunnier day, I would likely recommend a different strategy. But there is also something amazing about travel when you find a couple of people who can create the catalyst to turn an everyday event into a memory for the nursing home.
rocking the waves!
Making friends with Ryan and Peter totally changed the day. It had been pleasant enough but a little boring as a solo traveller. But we spent the trip back to Dubrovnik on the upper deck on really choppy seas. The rain had stopped but the weather was angry. What most people didn’t realize is that it’s better to be on the upper deck when the waves are high.
Ryan kept running the free (questionable and homemade) wine to the upper deck. Peter had portable speakers so kept the tunes running. A few people tried to dance but the waves made that more act of comedy than act of seduction. But I ended up being part of an international impromptu party on a rocking (literally!) boat on the Adriatic Sea.
When we finally exited on our groggy sea legs, Ryan announced it had been one of the best days of his life. I would have to concur 🙂
life on planetm 
reading between the lines
Today was my aunt’s memorial. As regular readers will know, my method of trying to reconcile death is to write about people as if I could talk to them. My mom delivered the news. This was her much older sister who didn’t figure into her life that much as a young child but became a pillar by the time she was an adult. Bizarrely, it was through my aunt’s death that I found out my mother had been wildly excited about her trip to DisneyWorld (you will hear about it in due time, complete with photos 😉
That nugget of information was gleaned because my mom noted that my aunt didn’t express her emotions much in nice clear diction so that the rest of us could be sure what was going on. There is much to be celebrated about northern Europeans but emotional intelligence is not a strength. I realize it might harm art and literature but life would be so much easier if people would just talk – and hug 😉
my aunt smiling!
My aunt did hug… but talk… not so much. Of course, it made her more mysterious. When someone dies, you have to reconcile your emotions and your memories of that person. Death sucks – but at least the pause can force us to think in a more metaphysical way than we might do on a regular day.
My aunt always seemed to be one of those people who wanted to fade into the background. I always wanted to see her bolder, more confident. But everyone has to follow her own path and we all have our own unique DNA.
North American culture celebrates loudmouths and show-offs. I sometimes fear we forget the valuable role that the quiet, unassuming nurturers play in the world. My aunt Shirley was the anti-Kardashian. She never sought the spotlight. She never appreciated how amazing she was.
trying to get my aunt to smile for a photo 😉
But she taught me stuff that Kim and Kayne will likely never figure out…
She cared deeply about people and her house was open at almost any hour to anyone who needed a place to hang out – or a hug.
She didn’t judge and opened her arms and her heart to people who had made mistakes – or who were in a tight spot courtesy of other people’s decisions.
She was one of those sunny, happy people who never yelled or ruined your day.
She did it all in a really quiet way that snuck up on you and, sadly, left her underappreciated.
She was the first adult other than my parents that I really remember hanging out with (she babysat me as a small child). I can still remember every inch of her house. I spent hours playing with dolls or playing doctor in the various bedrooms. I grew up in a trailer park so I realize now it resonated with me so strongly – my aunt was the lady who tried to feed you constantly, made twelve different kinds of yummy treats for Christmas and lived in the same house her whole adult life. She was like a real life Hallmark film.
She – and that house – was a place of stability in my gypsy childhood. And her sole daughter was like the ultimate big sister. She was the coolest teenager I have ever known. She treated my sister and me like we were not just little kids – when we really were. She was one of my first great loves. My sister and I continued the tradition with her daughter, treating her a bit like a living doll 🙂
a living doll!
We all just live. Things happen. There are family events. Mostly we just sleepwalk through them. As I’ve grown older, I’ve become more aware of the influences in my life and how people and events shape us.
Shirley definitely inspired me to spend more time in the kitchen. She taught me to be kind and forgiving and to care about others. She kept buying me cool Christmas presents even though the family had declared it not necessary (her husband owned a record shop so she shaped my musical taste). Her children inspired me. The people in your life matter. They help to shape and define you.
Thanks, Shirley.
Actions speak louder than words. That’s how I know she loved me. And I loved her. You don’t need to say it out loud for it to be true…
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shining examples, social commentary
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