a unique perspective on this crazy world

Archive for March 21, 2013

living la vita local (also dolce :)

I am back in New Orleans!   In my mind at least… there is still much to tell and recommendations to add to the internet so here we go…

Thursday night I just winged it, hoping I could at least find my way back to the hotel.  Friday night I knew I had to try a little harder.  My first impression of Bourbon Street was that it was pretty sleazy and full of drunk college students.  I think both statements hold but I wanted to see if there was more to it.

So I decided it was time to pull out the guidebook and see if having a plan might yield a better result.

My first stop was Jean Lafitte’s Old Absinthe House.  It’s in a building from the early 1800s with an antique interior my mother would love.  Since I was in the house of Absinthe, I figured an Absinthe House Frappe was the thing to have.  As the bartender promised, it tasted like black licorice.  Worth a try but I decided to stick to bourbon…

http://www.ruebourbon.com/oldabsinthehouse/history.html

and to move on to my next destination.  I had decided the next thing to tick off the list was to stand on a balcony so I could watch the cacophony playing out on Bourbon Street on a Friday night.  My guidebook had recommended a place called Krazy Corner so that was my next stop.

the flavour of bourbon street...

the flavour of bourbon street…

It’s definitely worth getting onto a balcony on Bourbon Street while you are in New Orleans for a unique perspective on the world but it’s a lot more interesting to check out the music so I headed downstairs to where the band was playing.

I don’t think I had even listened to an entire song before a gentleman who sounded like a local asked me to dance.  I’m not sure I will ever get to be a good dancer but I seem to manage to get pulled onto the dance floor in foreign cities as part of the free entertainment.

No one else was dancing – but Chris was a local and he was an awesome dancer so I just tried not to step on his feet or fall on the floor when he twirled me.  It was my “Big Easy” moment when Dennis Quaid makes Ellen Barkin dance 😉

 

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/big_easy/

And the band was wonderful.  That would be my discovery that night.  Bourbon Street is full of excellent cover bands.  If you love “Living on a Prayer”, this is your place 🙂  I think I heard it three times!

At that point, though, I was still on my mission to discover Bourbon Street based on my guidebook’s recommendations so, after five dances, I told Chris I was going to listen to some jazz across the street (the Maison Bourbon I have already written about).

a beautiful balcony

a beautiful balcony

I didn’t realize he was coming with me 😉  It changed my whole night.  That was the end of the guidebook.  I now had a local guide – with a delicious Louisiana accent 😉  One of the best life skills I ever developed was an ability to talk to strangers.  It’s more art than science but I always try my best to connect with locals when I travel so that I get a traveller experience rather than a tourist one.

As Chris confirmed, finding a local on Bourbon Street on Friday night is not an easy task.  But his friend had not shown and he loved to dance so there he was, looking for a dance partner.

He was more interested in cover tunes than jazz so I just went with the flow.  I knew I had two more nights to find some jazz and it would be more fun to just follow his lead.

So I heard a lot of Bon Jovi 🙂  And Aerosmith.  Some Def Leppard.  Chris knew all the tunes and would sing along.  He couldn’t believe I didn’t know this music.  But, when they played “4 Non Blondes”, I was the one who could identify the band!

An indie rock chick dancing to “Living on a Prayer” as interpreted by a Bourbon Street cover band is not a normal sight.  But I have always been very democratic about my musical experiences.  At heart I am a music snob – but opening yourself to new experiences and new people enriches your life.

You end up dancing until 4am.  You get to walk down Bourbon Street with a “to go cup” – and have some drunken kid bang into you with nary an apology so that you end up with a beer facial.  But your gallant local guide offers his sleeve to wipe your dripping face.  You learn some new tunes.  You get walked back to your hotel in the middle of the night.  You get some insight into the city you are visiting from a local.

And – most importantly – you create a unique memory that will last long after the trip is over…

 

Category:

travel stories

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bullying, self esteem and tough love :)

note to regular readers : New Orleans is NOT finished!  I have even made notes for the future posts…

But March is always nuts work-wise and main goal until retirement is to keep clients happy… but it’s getting close for this week and it’s been intense so wide awake when I should be sleeping… and watching some music from South by Southwest.

As you may have noted, music is a huge part of my life so long ago part of North by Northwest events, which never managed the success of South by Southwest, but required a lot less effort 🙂   As part of the birthday planning this year though, I realized that South by Southwest normally happens ON my birthday so that is the plan for next year…

But it’s now March 21st and five years ago it was Good Friday.

My work life was as nutty as it is right now so it took longer than it likely should have for me to realize my father had died.  But it was mostly because the concept was completely surreal.  Even when I picked up the message from my mother that sounded distressed, it wasn’t even a possibility in my mind that this would be the news I would receive.

My father wasn’t  interested in easy.  In life – or death.  So it may have been hard for everyone else to deal with but it was characteristic of his attitude toward life.

Part of that of course seemed to involve the concept that he considered himself immortal.  You had to know the guy;)

Particularly you had to appreciate it wasn’t an arrogant attitude – but, rather, a highly developed level of self-confidence.

I’m not really sure where it came from.  His mother went through the kind of stuff that would kill Oprah with seemingly zero scars and certainly no whining.  His father died when he was 10.  So there was no question the dude would be tough.

But what was impressive was the positive, life-affirming vibe that he shot out into the world.  His mother did the same.  Even though there were moments I was scared of both of them and each had areas of his/her personality that could have been improved, they remain two of the most impressive people I have ever met – and I have met A LOT of people 😉

So… to get to the point of this post… which is a tribute to my father on the anniversary of his death…

learning from grandpa :)

learning from grandpa 🙂

What I will forever be grateful for is the crazy self-confidence he bred in me from birth.  He wasn’t about praise – or even self-esteem.  If I ever got a compliment from my father, I don’t remember it.  And he might have thrown up if someone had forced him to utter a phrase as lame as “self-esteem”.

I grew up in the old school world where your parents’ job was to criticize you sufficiently that you would grow up to be a civilized human being 😉

But the big message my dad added was that I should do my own thing if it was the right thing.  I should develop a morality and a point of view that would guide my life forever – and it should inform all my decisions – and be my bulletproof shield from the outside world if its morality ran amok…

In the over privileged, excessive, shallow developed world of the 21st century, the lessons my father taught me might seem antiquated.

But I am the kind of weirdo who is a natural target for bullies.  Not only was I smart and strange, I was also little!  I remember being physically abused in fourth grade by some bully girl.  But what was great about my parents is that they taught me not to care very much… so I remember going to the principal’s office, I remember some bruises, I remember being confused…  but mostly I remember emerging from it all appreciating what matters most is your own sense of self… and – thanks to my great young parents – I had this weird, fuzzy idea that I just needed to ignore the drama and get on with my life…

And that the way to win with bullies is to just say to yourself, “good luck, asshole, I don’t care what you think… success is the best revenge” 😉  I’ve never been interested in being popular because my father kept emphasizing that I should be my own person and not worry about what other people thought.  That hardly helps you blend in in high school but it does give you a teflon coating and I have discovered it is the mystery ingredient to popularity in middle age 🙂  These days I’ve given up trying to convince people that I was a shy, strange child incapable of talking to strangers.  I’m still strange… but I have learned how to talk to strangers.  And I think I’ve done my father proud by focusing on being interesting and kind, rather than popular.

It really works!  And being an outlier makes one more sensitive and a better human being I think… so… ignore the bullies, embrace the masses… and never stop trying to be a little bit better at being human… it’s the advice my dad would give… and he was definitely a smart guy 😉

Category:

life philosophy

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