a unique perspective on this crazy world

Archive for February, 2013

apparently I am part of the 1% :)

Not the famous 1% of 2012 fame.  The 1% most people probably find a little strange 😉

I’ve embraced the fact that I was a weirdo from a young age.  Some people get concerned when I say this and hurriedly assure me that I am NOT weird!

But I am… and I’m OK with that.  I just didn’t used to understand my inner weirdo in an analytical way.  And INTJs LOVE analytical explanations!!!

What the hell is an INTJ you are likely asking?  A valid question 🙂  And, unless you have done a Myers Briggs questionnaire recently, the initials will look like ancient Greek.  And it was the Greeks – or maybe the Egyptians – who came up with the first analysis of personality traits.

Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers were devotees of Carl Jung.  Much like economists, it seems psychologists don’t agree – and their subject matter is so subjective it’s easy to look right… but Myers and Briggs seem to have been more focused on the cash grab personality theory might yield.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator

This all began a couple of months ago when I was trying to encourage my niece to pick a career over a job.  In my 20s I knew almost nothing about the world and would definitely have chosen a different career path had I approached the endeavour more systematically.  So I am hoping to use my experience – and mistakes – to help her find a more rewarding path.

My altruism has had funny rewards as it’s got me talking about Myers Briggs – and how to deal with the world if you are a weirdo…

I thought of Myers Briggs because many years ago I had an argument with the HR Manager at the company I worked for because he thought I wasn’t  insanely rational.  He told me I would be an “F” in Myers Briggs, not a “T”.  (For the uninitiated, “F” is for “feeling” and “T” is for “thinking”.)

I took the test to prove him wrong – and quelle surprise – I was right 🙂  But what I remembered being cool about the experience was that I read the notes about my personality type and saw myself reflected back in a way I had never experienced before.

I couldn’t remember what my type had been so I went on-line to see if I could find a test.  Of course, they want to upsell you so they tell you it’s not REALLY a PROPER Myers Briggs test but it was close enough and I was definitely an INTJ.  So figured I could send it to my niece to get some insight that might help her career planning.

The only letter we share is “I” (introversion vs. extroversion) so it is very valuable to know that she and I should likely have completely different careers.

What was most entertaining to me though was the discovery that I AM indeed a weirdo.  Somewhere along the line I came across some statistics as to how the personality types split across the general population (there are 16 possible personality types).

Apparently INTJs make up about 1-2% of the general population – and female INTJs are about as rare as unicorns!  So it makes total sense that I have frequently felt misunderstood…

and have had to work on faking acting like a “normal person.”  A lot of human behaviour mystifies me.  I use my observational and analytical skills to try and figure out how to act more “normal” and not freak people out.

The line in my personality profile that made me laugh out loud was “perhaps the most fundamental problem that INTJs face in relationships is that they really want people to make sense 🙂  The INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.

Like I said, weirdo 😉  But I have learned to accept and embrace my oddness.  Feeling misunderstood by the world has made me more compassionate.  And I use my analytical skills to try and fake it at being a real person – and I’ve become quite adept at it 😉

What really turns INTJs on is finding simple solutions to complex problems and making stuff HAPPEN!  NOTHING makes me happier.  A little sad maybe…  But, as is likely obvious by now, I am using this blog to sort out the world and plan my next half.

Reading my personality was illuminating.  I really want do something to make the world a better place before I die.  I always thought it had to be big and flashy.  But my new goal is to be “the great facilitator”.  Like all INTJs, I prefer to work behind the scenes.  I love to synthesize gigantic quantities of information, make sense of it and put a nice, clean action plan in play – that I monitor because I only really get excited when I tick stuff off the “to do list”.  So, solving all the world’s problems?  What could be more enticing? 😉

It’s kind of dull being normal, right? … 😉

there really ARE kangaroos on the front lawn down under ;)

Of course, you have to be in the driveway of a sheep farm in remote western Australia after the owners have been away for a few days so the roos are partying on the grass – cause they know he is one of the only farmers in the ‘hood who doesn’t shoot kangaroos.  But I really DID see kangaroos on the front lawn and I told my Australian boyfriend at the time, “I am going back to Canada and telling everyone they can see kangaroos on the front lawn if they go to Oz” 🙂

roo from kitchen window

roo from kitchen window

Of course it amused me mostly because I was Canadian and used to foreigners thinking we kept polar bears as pets or lived in teepees.  This was decades before the internet or even cable TV so most people didn’t  think the world was flat anymore but detailed knowledge of foreign locales was in short supply.

So, when I arrived in Sydney in 1990, I had very little idea what to expect.  Aussies love their country so I was expecting a land of milk and honey based on all the glowing reports I had heard from expats on my three month European tour enroute to “the lucky country”.  If nothing else, I had just spent most of the month of December on the Canadian prairie with my parents where a proper “you can feel your breath freezing in your throat” winter had given my Australian boyfriend a taste of the “real Canada” – where the tough people live 🙂

So, arriving from minus 40 to plus 40 in a matter of hours, was enough reason to fall in love with Australia the minute of arrival.

Like the relationships  you see in montages on-screen in romantic comedies, there was a reality check.  Australia proved to not just be “Canada with lots of sunshine” as I had anticipated.  But it was my first expat experience.  And there was much to love about the country and the people.

The Australian boyfriend not one of my best ideas… but it was the way I got to his country.  I am sure I would have got there eventually but it would never have had the same impact.

Going to Oz was how I grew up.  It changed my life forever and I can’t imagine its trajectory without the Australian – or his country.  I know it would have been a lot more boring and I am really grateful I got to take the less-travelled path.

This is much to say about Australia – and Australians.  I lived there for eighteen months.  I have been back twice.  And will return for a third visit this November.  I wish I had stayed longer and become a citizen – but I tend to have a rather messy personal life.  I can recognize an Australian accent – and don’t think they sound English – or South African.

Today’s post though is to celebrate Elizabeth.  Because it is her birthday!  And also the first year anniversary of this blog!  I wasn’t sure if it could be sustainable but I really enjoy writing and – even if there aren’t as many posts as I had envisioned – there is a regular commentary.

I noticed a little while ago that the blog anniversary was coming up and was trying to figure out what the right post would be.  And then I realized the anniversary was Elizabeth’s birthday.  So the answer was obvious 🙂

As has already been noted, most of my friendships have an unusual genesis compared to the average person.  I am very interested in people and happy to put a lot of effort into maintaining friendships with people who impress me.

Elizabeth is definitely one of those!  Back in 1990, I was her boss.  We were working in a firm of chartered accountants and she was doing a work term so was only 18.  But she was so poised and a model employee.  I didn’t really have to “boss” her at all so it was easy for a friendship to develop.  It was unexpected since she was almost exactly a decade younger than me.  But she really wanted to travel.

So that’s how it started.  I had only started to travel at that point but had just done a three month tour of western Europe and we talked about travel and Europe every chance we got.  I inspired her future travel plans and she reminded me of my own 18 year old mindset.

wedding in oz

wedding in oz

When I left to return to Canada, we exchanged addresses and vowed to stay in touch.  So often that doesn’t amount to much but we were both good at it.  In the early days we sent letters and always exchanged gifts at Christmas and birthdays, trying to find something local.  It helped me hold on to Oz – and introduced her to Canada.

I also promised I would come back for her wedding.  It took a little while… but she had to find the right guy 🙂  Going to her wedding was one of the highlights of my life.  She comes from this wonderful family who had always welcomed me as the third child and much fuss was made of the fact that I had come from Canada for the wedding.  But I meant it when I told her I was coming 😉

She also came to Germany for one of my weddings (there were three – all to the same guy :)).  It was her first trip to Europe.  She had finally made the leap and executed the first of the plans we had made back in 1990 for her world travel.  Her enthusiasm was contagious and I was still a new immigrant and equally enamored of all the “cute” German towns.

german cakes :)

german cakes 🙂

She now has a daughter – whom I will meet for the first time in November.  She looks just like her mom.  I think she will be 5 by the time I get to Sydney so a really wonderful age to meet someone.  I am really looking forward to seeing them all.

Sadly, there will be no kangaroos on their front lawn.  It really is a sophisticated, developed country with some of the best wine in the entire world.  When I went for the wedding, I took myself on a wine tour of South Australia to get out of Elizabeth’s hair while she was doing wedding prep, and decided a case of wine from different producers with different maturity dates would make a great wedding present.  I’ll be able to hear the stories of the bottles in person…

So… in honour of the blog’s anniversary (and Elizabeth’s birthday), I will pour a glass of Australian wine and make a toast to “the lucky country” – and kangaroos 🙂  You should do the same.  Aussies do it all well – so pick your poison – anything from sparkling to Shiraz…  or combine them and have a sparkling Shiraz, a personal favourite!

nostalgia for the silver screen…

I am one of those hard-nosed, practical, logical people… yeah, the kind of pompous jerks the more emotional types like to throw foam bricks at…

But, at least I have a sentimental streak… and there is lots of room in my life for nostalgia.  When I do manage to find some elusive free time, that is one of my indulgences.

I should have been working this past weekend… and shirking my duties will likely catch up to me in a matter of days, if not hours, but I live in Vancouver and weekend the Ridge Theatre was closing.

ridge 015The guys who own the Ridge have always been cool… and because of that, they are not going out with a whimper – but with a bang.  A film festival of sorts!  I really wanted to go every night but I do have a serious job and it does pay for my serious travel habit so I had to constrain myself but this was the last weekend and I had to be in that theatre at least once before it was all over…

As is likely obvious, I have a lot of history… with people, with cities, with buildings…  I’m not quite sure where it comes from… this hyper-awareness of my part in the history of the world, small though it might be.

We are all part of it.  We all make history.  And I think it keeps us grounded – and relevant – to recognize it.

For me, the Ridge didn’t really begin there… it began with Mike… and the Bloor Cinema in Toronto… and being a poor student.  I can’t remember the exact price anymore but you could buy a pass to the networks of cinemas of which the Bloor was part and see second run films for less than the price of a draft beer…  I think beer was $1 and a second run film was 99 cents 🙂

That’s how I discovered Woody Allen… how I argued with Mike that Eraserhead was stupid – but started following David Lynch… how I learned that the cinema was full of ideas… and garbage… and you would have to wade through it… but how rich that experience would be… without Mike and the Bloor I would never have seen Koyaanisqatsi… or learned about Philip Glass… go see it, people, and see Al Gore for the gas-guzzling charlatan that he really is…

http://www.koyaanisqatsi.org/films/koyaanisqatsi.php

Media can be so powerful… but sadly is largely controlled by alpha male buffoons… so be careful what they are trying to brainwash you to believe…

Oh yes, the media and truth… My first film at the final Ridge fest was Argo.  I have been wanting to see it since its opening night – so figured I could be nostalgic – AND see a film I really wanted to see for $5 on the big screen!

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/argo_2012/

It’s really worth seeing.  But, as a Canadian who at the time was a big Carter supporter and aware of current events, I was curious how the film story would go down…  Apparently not so realistically… the drama is great for film.  But, in the realpolitik of the 21st century, there is something to be said for Canadians – who are actually great at diplomacy, willing to do their homework and more concerned about the collective good than the glory.  It’s how we (all of us, not just Canadians :)) will save the world.  Sorry, CIA 😉

But, for me, it wasn’t really about Argo... it was about the Ridge.  I can’t remember my very first visit.  But I first moved to Vancouver in 1985 and it has been part of my life since then.  I saw a lot of films there.  I saw cool special events like weekends full of animation – or great advertising from all over the world.

But the way the Ridge became a place where I felt at home was courtesy of the Vancouver Film Festival.  I also started that courtesy of Mike, sitting in gritty suburban cinemas with uncomfortable seats and floors that always seemed sticky with decades of discarded fluids that could never be entirely eliminated.

But you didn’t come for the ambience 🙂 You came to have your young mind twisted and stretched by great art – and poseurs… eventually you learned to tell the difference 😉

One of those cinemas was the Ridge.  It might have mattered just because of that but years after Mike and I broke up, I was still going to the Ridge and began volunteering at the Vancouver Film Festival because I really believed in the power of cinema to change the world.

The first night I volunteered we made The Vancouver Sun because there was a mini-riot due to bad planning and administrative procedure.  But, at the time, there was a serious recession going on in Canada, and I was unemployed, and happy to be trying to stem the floodgate of disgruntled patrons to prove to myself I still had employable skills…

That first year I floated between Vancouver Centre (the riot locale) and the Ridge.  In those days, the Ridge was suburbia, despite being about a five minute drive from the center of the city.  And Louise ran the Ridge.  It’s been a few decades so I am going to say she was Scottish… She was definitely a Celtic woman with attitude – and principles.

I guess these days you would call it a girl crush.  I just wanted to grow up and be like Louise 🙂  Because she was commanding, fair and charismatic.  No matter what happened (and a film festival is a bunch of artsy prima donnas trying to do something that requires business-like precision so lots happened!) she was always cool and resourceful.  And she protected us.  And tried her best to give the patrons the best theatrical experience.

My years at the Ridge were critical to my human development.  Louise was the boss I aspired to be.  She knew how to manage both up and down the chain – and if you were ready for a challenge…

It is one of my most vivid memories…  I think it was because the Festival Director hired his girlfriend… or some such nonsense that is the stuff of real life… in any event, we had a sold-out show for Europa, Europa but had instead been sent Europa.  What’s one missing Europa you ask?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Europa_Europa

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Europa_(film)

That’s what Louise was afraid of.  I saw them both and would highly recommend you do the same.  But the audience looking for Europa, Europa might not be as keen on Europa.  And Louise knew that… I can’t remember exactly how many people you can fit into the Ridge – but it was the largest cinema on the festival circuit – and there were over 500 seats… so the lineup could be several blocks long and everyone would still get in…

So that night I walked the line and explained to over 500 people that they weren’t going to be seeing the film they had signed up for but the new one was equally compelling… but we would refund anyone who was disappointed, no questions asked.  We had to stay in the lobby to see what happened and process refunds.  I think maybe 5 people asked for refunds.

Louise was a master.  Be upfront with your customers and manage your customer relationships with honesty.  Evaluate your team and set them up for success by assigning them to the roles to which they are suited.  Be the boss but don’t be afraid to be one of the team when it can be strategically deployed to strengthen your organization.

Louise was an artist.  So I doubt she realized she was teaching me business lessons.  But she was a Scot and genetically predisposed to organization?  In any event, she inspired loyalty.  Once I discovered Louise, I always asked to work at the Ridge.  I wasn’t the only one who loved her so every year it was a bit like a family reunion.  And Louise inspired the well-organized rebels… so the theatre ran well… we got to hang out in the Crying Room watching almost the entire film… and it was always over Canadian Thanksgiving so Louise would have pumpkin pie and we would eat it at the concession stand.

My final film at the Ridge (the theatre’s final as well!) was Midnight in Paris.  I already saw it on a plane to Paris as my regular blog readers will recall 🙂 But it was a good film… and I discovered Woody Allen on the repertory film circuit so it was a poetic ending.  And the film is about nostalgia, so hard to find a more perfect ending.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_in_Paris

I took pictures like all the other nostalgia freaks 🙂 And peeked in to see if the Crying Room was still there.  It was!  It is quite possible you don’t know what I am talking about as it is the only cinema I have ever been to with such a room.  It’s why there is something to be said about a 63 year old single screen suburban cinema.  The Ridge let you bring your baby to the movies… and, if the baby started crying (or you thought it might), you could watch the film from the Crying Room.  I think most people just figure their baby won’t be welcome at the movies so it was the place where we hung out during the film festival since we had to get the audience in and out of the cinema so could only watch the film while paying guests were happy and in their seats.  Louise knew where we were and could come and grab us if she needed help.ridge 018

The final night was quite emotional.  They pretty much packed a huge cinema to see a film you could rent on DVD or see on an airplane.  There was a short speech, lots of clapping and a standing ovation for the owner.  I think it’s my first standing ovation in a movie theatre 🙂

In honour of the Ridge closing, I would encourage everyone to go and see a film on the silver screen.  I’ve never been able to duplicate the visceral experience at home and will be a fan of the cinema as long as they exist…

Mr. Pine’s Purple House…

Apparently I was not the only one inspired by Mr. Pine – you gotta love the internet 🙂  My crush, Jon Stewart, was talking on The Daily Show this week about painting your house mauve… in response to Glenn Beck’s crazy Marxist utopia Independence USA.  He likened it to Main Street USA at Disneyland.  Disneyland was fun to visit but it was not for the independent of mind.  So the comparison is apt.

mr pines purple houseAnd Jon is my age so I am wondering if he picked mauve because he also knew about Mr. Pine 🙂  Purple is an awesome colour – with lots of interesting associations –  but we’ll talk about the colour purple some other time…

Jon’s take on the whole crazy mess is hilarious and you should watch it, rather than listen to me paraphrase it (Jan 29, 2013)

http://www.thecomedynetwork.ca/shows/TheDailyShow?videoPackage=130175

It points out the strange, conceptually warped place that is the present day USA.  It’s such a complicated, remarkable and twisted place.  Watching The Daily Show freaks me out a little – and makes me recall my first public speech.  I was an atrocious public speaker.  But a precocious, serious child.  So aged 11 I warned about the dangers of watching too much television.  Back when all I could watch was the CBC!  No danger of wanting to watch it for too long 🙂

But I did LEARN some stuff from TV.  And was usually reading a book in the background because I wasn’t intellectually engaged enough.  But luckily my mom really liked small children and engaged us, rather than popping us in front of a video so we could have the storyline of every Disney animated classic memorized.

The media IS powerful.  And independent thought is essential when you are sitting in front of a TV.  Or a movie screen (more on that soon 😉

So… I am really grateful that reading was highly encouraged by my parents.  First, they read to us.  My internet research revealed that I was 3 when Mr. Pine painted his house purple – so it was likely one of my very first books.  Maybe that’s why it ended up as my favourite.  We had at least one story every night.  And I cleaned out the small town library once I could read on my own.  One of my favourite childhood memories were the boxes of books that came into my house courtesy of auction sales.

It certainly wasn’t all high brow!  That’s how my best friend and I found “The Happy Hooker” and read racy passages aloud to each other when her mother was at work.  We didn’t even really know what was being described – but we knew it was forbidden 🙂

Maybe your child shouldn’t read “The Happy Hooker” but it’s good to be exposed to new ideas and situations outside your own personal realm.  It was books that saved my ass when I ventured out as a young adult with very little knowledge about the great, wide world in which I wanted to wander.

The first boy I seriously considered marrying sealed the deal because we would chime, almost in unison, “let’s go get a book about that!”  We figured books were the answer to every obstacle or new situation life threw at us.

There is something to be said for human contact – and expert advice from live humans 🙂  But it took me a rather long time to figure that out.  In the meantime, I had books…

All sorts of points of view, myriad experiences I would never be able to create for myself, a chance to delve into both the past and the imagined future to try to figure out how to make the present better…

All that reading will also give you a point of view.  You don’t need to paint your house purple (it’s likely not a good idea 🙂  But you shouldn’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe.  People love a maverick!  Just ask Mr. Pine.  His purple house made him the toast of the town 🙂

http://www.amazon.com/Pines-Purple-House

p.s  I have carried Mr. Pine’s Purple House with me to over 30 residences and three continents – but I learned all the lessons by age six – so the physical book is just nostalgia 😉

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